Sport Mental Performance Topics: Fear of Rejection
In this post I wanted to talk on a topic that most athletes deal with, and that is the fear of rejection. The fear that they are not good enough without certain results or outcomes. This is one of the biggest things athletes deal with that greatly impacts their mental health. As humans we seek to belong, to be loved. Often times though an athlete feels like this only occurs based on their results.
To be able to separate who we are from what we do and the outcomes we get is one of the toughest challenges athletes face. It is also something that if they can do will actually allow them to perform at a higher level. When an athlete can remove their identity from their results, it frees them up in a way they have never experienced. It can help an athlete let go of the need to control everything and feel like they have to and can control the outcome.
When you can realize that you can prepare and have certain things you can do to put yourself in a position to display your abilities but then let go and surrender to the fact that there are many things you can't control that influence your performance and outcome, it frees you to be fluid and truly tap into the consciousness needed for high performance and the abilities you have at your disposal. To truly access your potential in a moment.
It is not easy to detach our identity from the things we do, often times this is because we don't know what that looks like, or how to do it. Maybe we also fear letting go, that if we do it means we don't care or won't have the motivation needed to work hard. To understand who you are it is first important to understand that anything that comes and goes is not you. Your emotions, thoughts, feelings, and outcomes are not permanent and therefore are not who you are.
This is one of the reasons I help my athletes identify their values and look at what their purpose is. When we begin to look at the things that are consistent in our lives we can start to understand who we are and know that we are enough and deserve to belong regardless of the outcomes we get. This takes a great deal of vulnerability and ability to lean into the discomfort that is created from uncertainty. We crave certainty, but life and sports are uncertain, and when we give ourselves to this reality, we free ourselves to truly flourish.
To your success,
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Kate Allgood Masters Sport Psychology (with distinction) Masters General Psychology (with distinction) Sports Hypnosis Certification Mindfulness Certification
TAIS Assessment Certified